Matt's Wedding Speech

As the only other person here who regularly slept with Matt, I... Oh, sorry. As the only other person here who regularly slept in the same room as Matt, I was asked to say a few words.

I was walking down Bealey Ave in Christchurch the other day, thinking about what to say at this wedding, and I recalled when Matt told me he was going to propose to Jen. It was during that strange five-day period between Boxing Day and New Years Day, and Matt and I had just seen a James Bond movie or the like. It was raining, we were stopped at a red light when Matt told me of his intention to marry Jen. I was speechless. Gobsmaked. The cat had got my tongue. Those who know me can assure the rest that this is a strange and unusual event.

Matt looked at me, and I muttered something about how wonderful and great it all was, but nothing could hide my inner turmoil. My world had been tipped upside down. This is not how reasonable people behave. You find a girl you like, move in, and happily live in sin for a good three to... thirty years. You get a cat, and a dog, and a mortgage. Maybe there is confusion about weather the punch at the New Year's Eve party has grapefruit in it, and you have a kid together. Then, then you think about getting married. This idea of Matt's seemed foolish, foolhardy, and premature.

However, Matt sensibly did propose, and Jen... accepted. They moved in together, with a cat, and while they did not have a mortgage they did have a big-arse student loan to share. I had a good laugh the other day when I recalled all this because, quite frankly, I find it inconceivable that they would not be together forever. So I guess this is an apology for that day, Matt. Yes, you should marry Jen, because you make each other better people. You two are perfect match, and I think I have fulfilled my cliché quota for this speech.

And so a toast. To those who could not make it here today: especially Matt's family in England, and Jen's Belgium family. To Absent Friends and Family.